Does it matter? (how to reduce arguing by 70-95%)
Ask yourself, does it matter, next time you feel like making a negative remark on anything or at someone. Now let me explain…. with this example:
A man comes home from work tired, he sits down at the table and the food that has been prepared by his wife is not as good as the man was hoping it would be, so he decides to tell his wife just that. The wife had a pretty hard day as well and is also tired and she answers him right back and tells her husband that maybe the food would be better if she had a bigger budget for shopping. Then he answers her back and tells her that she is not resourceful enough. She then says to the husband that maybe she could be more resourceful if she had new kitchen appliances like all her friends, but her husband does not provide enough for that and so on and so on. Then they start to reach out for per-marriage promises they feel like they have been cheated out off, and they start to talk about how this life is not what they signed up for and so forth. They argue until they can’t argue any more. The food still tastes the same and now it’s cold as well!
What did they get out off all that arguing?
They found more weak spots on each other to use next time, they added more powerful ammunition to their arsenal for the next fight and that is the only thing they have accomplished here.
What about if he would have asked his wife how her day was, before he decided to make negative comments on her cooking? What about if he would have felt gratitude to have a dinner table to sit at? What about gratitude to have a wife, or a wife that found time and energy to even try? What about if he would have asked himself this question before commenting, does it matter?
Does it matter in regards to my goals?
Does it matter so much that I will finally accomplish my dreams with the comment I am about to make? Really, does it matter?
Does it matter for my life’s goals if someone does not clean up after themselves?
Does it matter if someone spills milk?
Does it matter if your wife forgets to iron your shirt when she has promised to do so?
Does it matter if your husband forgets to offer you a cup of coffee when he makes one for himself?
If it does not matter for your grand design of life, then don’t.
You can easily cut down arguing with other people about 70-95% just by asking yourself first, DOES IT MATTER?