One of the most important steps in transitioning between status quo (not satisfied) to the point we want to be at as parents, is to take full responsibility for our lives.
- Stop blaming others!
- Stop being the victim!
- Stop using our children as an excuse not to improve our lives and make the next generation the best one yet!
- Stop caring the guilt of wrong doings, forgive yourself and start loving yourself infinitely now!
One thing I heard recently when listening to one of the amazing authors that are changing my life each day, was a question towards couples. How much are you responsible for the relationship and how much is you partner responsible for the relationship?
Answers like 50/50 or 70/30 are common, I thought it should be 50/50 in my failed relationships in the past, but the right answer is 100% the same as you should be doing as a parent, I know I am doing that now finally. You have to be willing to carry 100% responsibility for the relationship if you want it to be a happy, loving and long lasting. Sure people can go through years and years with a balled up fist and just stay in a comfort zone, but are they happy, think about it.
OK, 100% responsible, great, let’s see what that could mean for you and what it means to me.
I just read in one of Dr. Joe Vitale books about a man, his name is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. He worked for 4 years as a therapist at a ward in Hawaii, where they keep criminally insane and dangerous patients. He never saw one patient during these 4 years but simply reviewed their case files in his office and worked on himself only. Now this is a very short summary of these four years, but in short they ended up closing the ward after the 4 years he had worked there, because all the patients were released based on evaluations by experts that they were no longer a threat to society (cured). Amazing and almost unbelievable story, but how did he create this effect on the patients without ever seeing them. He used 4 sentences that he repeated to and took 100% responsibility for the way the patients were, because they were a part of his reality then and therefore curing them in that period of time. You can read more details on this story just by googling the four sentences, which are:
I love you.
Please forgive me.
As we develop on our way in the journey to be a better parent, we decide which methods we adopt, which truth we want to follow, which method we will try, which one will work and how much effort we are going to put into creating our perfect future live, success or the thing you are striving towards.
This is how I connect this story and this principle of taking 100% responsibility for my reality, into what I have learned as a young boy and now I finally understand why it worked.
When I was around 12 years old I was in a class of around 25 students and my class was a terrible one (bad manners, loud, and no teacher wanted the task). Honestly a terrible classroom. One day when I came home and feeling sorry for myself I said to my father:
“Dad this is the most terrible class in the school, even if I wanted to learn I couldn’t”
my father answered,
“you can change it”
then I replied
“but I am not the leader, nor the follower, I am just in the middle guy”.
My father then said to me:
“Just try it, go to school tomorrow and be quiet and expect everyone else to be as well, and make sure you are paying attention to what everyone else will do”.
The class was never the same, after that day, not perfect but a whole lot better.
At the time I though I discovered that I am a leader, but now I truly understand that if we take responsibility for our reality we can change it to what ever we want, it is our reality, we create the desired effects in our lives with or without knowing it. So that means we are all leaders in our reality! We can effect others that belong in our reality and we can get what we want by taking 100% responsibility for your lives.
Think about how much we mold and shape our children for the future, regardless of your intentions. The time is now to start taking the positives and applying them into your life and effecting your children in the best way possible.
Sincerely your Watchon family member, Huni.